Dear 16 Year Old Me

Hi my friends,

I was watching television the other morning and saw a very interesting segment on a morning show. A author wrote a book on people from different walks of life writing letters to their 16 year old selves. I thought what would I say to me back then? well, here is the letter to my 16 year old self.

Dear 16 year old me,

I know you probably had another rough day at school because you are still adjusting to being in High School and you are still not happy with being in Greenville Mississippi and you want to go back home to San Francisco, and your home life is not all that great either with your aunt and uncle being mean to you all the time and your mom getting on your nerves but believe me, things will get better. You thing your Grandparents are telling you things you don't want to know but listen to them, they may not have the education you have and will have in the future, but they really are very wise and hold on to them while you can because you will miss them when the are gone. Don't worry about your aunt, she always has been jealous of you and your uncle will straighten out and become a very wise and awesome man of God. They love you, they just had a hard time showing it at the time. Your mom was going through a hard time herself adjusting to being home and living with her parents. She will still struggle with the things she struggled with then but remember, she loves you very much and you always were her heart just like your Aunt Minnie would tell you. When you get the news that your mom passed away, you will struggle with it but in time, it will get better. Your Dad will still be you best friend and someone you will still go to. He will have a series of strokes but he will get better but, not the same as he was before, Your paternal grandmother will suddenly pass away when you get home from college, no not the colleges you wanted to go to Southern Cal, LSU, or the University of San Francisco but USM. You will miss her very much because you could talk to her about anything. Before she dies, she will give you a life lesson that you will hold on to this very day.  You will go to the Navy briefly, don't feel bad about not completing basic training. You tried but your fear of water over your head from almost drowning at 8 keeps you from completing. You go to college and meet people you are still friends with to this very day, You will  have jobs as a club dj. radio announcer and even do play-by-play for baseball and football!  You even become part owner a baseball team all in Greenville! You will work for WXVT as a Weather Person, Master Control Operator and do other things at the television station. There, you will met and become friends with some amazing people you are still friends with to this day. You will go to different places such as Houston, Chicago, Dallas, New Orleans, Little Rock and Conway Arkansas.  You will get married twice, have 6 beautiful and amazing kids, 5 girls and 1 boy. two girls from your first marriage and three girls and one boy from you second. Your second wife is the one that you are meant to be with and you two have everything in common. She will be and always will be the love of your life. Take care of yourself and keep exercising because when you get older, you will become very ill and disabled but it all takes you back to the amazing path that God puts you on. You will go through some bad things but you will go through some awesome things as well. You finally answer the call that God has been for years trying to get you to to. You will continue your education to get your Masters in Christian Studies. Oh by the way, you don't have cat eyes like Terrence Nash keeps telling you! Ignore him!

Take care,

Raymomd

My Love of God

Hello everybody!,

I am right now in a lot of pain because the enemy is attacking my body but it's not going to stop me from letting everyone know my love of God. My love is so deep and pure because he loves me the exact same way! God's love for me is unconditional and my love for him is the same. I think back to all the good things the Lord had done for me, I think "WOW!"  The things I have gone through and with God's grace and love, he has pulled me out of all I can say is thank you for everything. I know that the trials and tribulations I have gone through these past months will get better with God's loving hands on me and my family. The other night while I was sleeping, Satan whispered in my ear that one of my daughters was dead! I got up but I did not feel it in my heart. It was Satan attacking me because he does not want me to achieve my goals and for me to give up and forsake our heavenly father. Our God has never forsaken us, so I know I will never forsake him! I got up and picked up the Bible and read from the book of Job. I knew my daughter was fine and I prayed for her safety. God Bless you for reading and thank you! 

Going Through It To Get To It

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: Matthew 7:7

Hello my friends!, It has been an interesting week! The enemy has been working hard trying to get me to go back to old habits such as drinking and trying to get me to forget about doing work for my Lord and Savior. I just keep telling the enemy to "SHUT UP"  and I continue to move forward in my christian life because this is the path I chose to follow and will continue to follow. I hear the whispers in my ear "you sure wouldn't mind having a cold beer right now wouldn't you" I say NO! because not only it would not be good for my health but I made a vow not to drink anymore. My wife Saturday night told me that God was trying to talk to me through her, so I turned the television off, cleared my head and I heard God telling me to "go out to the world and do my works." I looked up and quietly said "yes heavenly father, I will do what you ask of me." I know we have been through so much for the past two years but I believe you have to go through storms to get to the good times. I know by faith and God leading the way, we will get better not only financially but be better people for it. We have to go through it to get to it.

Thank you and God Bless You!

I Am Thankful To My Lord And Savior

Blessed is he that considereth the poor: the Lord will deliver him in times of trouble. Psalms 41:1

 Welcome back my friends!

I have had a week where the enemy has been working overtime whispering in my ear to try to shake my faith in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I have told Satan "to get thee behind me, I'm not falling for your tricks today, tomorrow or any day!!" You would think that I would be down about my health and financial situation, but I am not because yesterday, as I do every morning, I say a prayer giving thanks for letting me see another day and praying for my wife, children, my late mother, my dad, my family and friends. I was shaving and I heard a voice telling me that I really a good person, and I am going to come out of this storm a better, stronger person who has a great testimony to tell the world and something great is going to happen that will blow my mind. I thought to myself, "WOW" I have heard this before from our pastor and deacons of the church but It really sunk in this time. I told my wife what I heard and she agreed. I am still battling diabetes, and depression but with the word of God and my strong faith I am not depressed anymore and I praise him everyday and every way I can.

Thank you for reading and be Blessed!

The Lord Has Helped Me Through This

Hello everybody,

I told you last week about testifying in church last Sunday. After the service, my wife and I got in the car and I realized all of the amazing things and situations that our God has got me through and was with me every step of the way. The first was being sexually abused from the age of 8-11. It wasn't an adult that did those things to me, it was children who were not that much older than me. I could still hate ore resent the two girls who did those things but, I have forgiven them and I have prayed for them so I could finally let it go. I remember when I was child in San Francisco, I almost drowned in a lake in Golden Gate Park. I was going down for the third time when my mother, who never learned how to swim got out in the middle of the lake where I was and pulled me out and back to shore. That was the first time I almost died. Another example of God being with me was ten years ago. I am about to admit something I rarely like to talk about but I feel I have to tell this story because it is an example of God has been good to me. I was very depressed about several things such as my job situation at the time, my first marriage at the time and other things. I was diagnosed with Depression since the age of eight. I got up early that morning to get ready for work, but I decided to kill myself. I went into the bathroom and I heard a voice that said "DO IT!" I opened the medicine cabinet and took a handful of my mother's blood pressure pills. After I did this, I looked into my daughter's bedroom and I saw her laying on her bed asleep and I heard another voice that said "You can't leave her and her sister" I wen into our bedroom and told my first wife what I did. She called 911 and the ambulance took me to the hospital to pump my stomach and to admit me into the hospital. I thought about those things on the way home and I told my wife that "I am meant to be here!" I did not reveal these events that have happened in my life for pity or for someone to feel sorry for me, I revealed these things to let you know how God has been so good to me. God has always had a plan for me, I am just trying to do what he wants me to do. God Bless You for reading this.  

Continuing The Journey

Hello everyone,

I am sorry I have not posted sooner but, I have received a project from God. Let me explain this story. A month ago, my wife has been encouraging me to start writing again. I was reluctant at first because I thought I lost my touch as a writer and I was still feeling sorry for myself. Later that week after church, one of the Deacons of the church walked up to me and said, "you need to start writing again." I looked at him with a shocked look on my face because he did not know that much about me and if I could write or not. We went back to church that following Sunday, and I told this same Deacon that I started writing again. He looked at me and said, "praise God." He told me this story that happened years ago. He said, "this has been on my heart and this story has to be told!" He asked my cousin who is our Pastor did he remember the story and my cousin said "yes! I remember that" My cousin looked at me and said, "God has given you this story to tell." I felt a chill after he said that. We went home and I discussed all of this with my wife and I said I will think about it. Monday, I was sitting on the couch when I heard this voice telling me, "please tell my story, please tell my story, promise me you will tell my story" I looked up and said softly, "I promise. I will tell your story." My wife and I have done some research and asked a friend for his advice on how to tell this story. He was very helpful in giving me instruction on how to do this. I know I haven't always been a faithful servant to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, but I am now truly a faithful servant I praise God everyday for just waking me up in the morning. I ask all of you who read this post to pray for me on this journey as I complete this project God wants me to do. God Bless all of you. 

In The Beginning

Where do I begin? Well I'll start with the day this crazy, scary and now beautiful journey began. It was a sunny March day of this year. It began like any other day, I went to work early that morning, did my job and said goodbye to my co-workers. I was on my way to pick up my contacts when I noticed my vision was blurring. I  refused to think that something was seriously wrong so I was careful driving to and from the eye doctor's office. I didn't tell anybody at the eye doctor's office what was going on because my doctor was not in that day. I came home feeling dizzy, had a very intense headache and was nauseous. I told my wife what was going on and she drove me to the emergency room. After they ran tests, they told me I had a stroke. I was shocked and naturally scared. I was admitted into the hospital overnight for observation. I came home and a few days later progressively got worse. My balance was worse, my speech was more slurred, I began dragging my left foot and was more week and my headache continued. My wife drove me to Jackson to another hospital and they ran tests and told us I never had a stroke. We were shocked! They set up an appointment for me to see a Neurosurgeon. We went to his office, he talked to us and showed us the MRI and said there was no evidence I had a stroke but there was something going on. He admitted me into the hospital. After four days of a battery of tests, the diagnosis was Polyneuropathy. It is a neurological disorder from being a long time diabetic. He told us that I may never recover from this and I am not going to be able to work. He told me that he could try to fix me up again but it may not be for the long term. We came back to Greenville and I was very depressed. I was angry because I tried to eat right, I exercised everyday, took my medicines and watched my blood sugar to make sure it was not high. My wife and I one Sunday drove to my cousin's church to hear him. He is the pastor of the church. We liked the message he was delivering and the following Sunday, we went back. We eventually joined the church and I felt renewed. I felt that God had a path for me to follow, I just did not or didn't want to know what it was but I was heading in the right direction. In this blog, I intend to tell you how I am and will be fighting back. I invite you to join me on my climb back up this mountain.